


Eldritch Homosexual Falls in Love with Mortal Enemy, You Won't Fucking Believe What Happens Next!

by vice_versa_virtue



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: Background Boomer (as it should be), Benrey POV, Benrey backstory, Benrey's deaths (it's ok he's just in da void), Bubby is He/They too :), Domestic Frenrey, Explicit Language, He/Him and They/Them Pronouns for Benrey (Half-Life), Joshua isn't real...sorry, M/M, Mentions of PTSD, Not A Game AU, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic attack happens, Post-Canon, Self Loathing B), Slow Burn, and they were roommates >:), im a dumb bitch who projects onto Benrey, just a fucking domestic frenrey roommate fic what do you want from me?, let me know if I need to add some tags I probably forgot, my first fanfic so jgfhkjdhgkfj, this will not be nsfw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29050857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vice_versa_virtue/pseuds/vice_versa_virtue
Summary: Gay people real???????Like I said this is my first fanfic and uhhhh I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. This isn't really beta read so sorry if it sucks.
Relationships: Benrey & Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Frenrey - Relationship
Comments: 23
Kudos: 65





	1. Backstory of a Gay Little Eldritch and Meeting at Chuckathy Cheddar's

Yeah, the resonance cascade sucked shit. Wasn’t going on Benrey’s highlight reel anyways, especially after everything he put the science team through. They finally figured this out when he was floating through the void trying to regrow his body. Benrey always considered themselves to like silence, but the void was deafeningly so. 

He’d been there countless times before, mainly when they were younger on Xen and accidentally found himself in the jaws of a golem ape or something. Then some when they were captured by Black Mesa. He’d managed to find a portal made by the scientists and walked on through. Spent who knows how long as their little science experiment, treated no better than a headcrab. Tommy was nice though. Took time to teach Benrey “words” while also learning their way of communicating through sweet voice. Tommy was the first person he’d ever considered a friend, very cool guy. Must’ve liked mean people though, as he also hung around with most of the other scientists. He ached thinking of Tommy again. 

Tommy was actually the one who came to him about thoughts of escape. Said seeing them made him sadder than a kicked puppy; whatever the fuck a puppy was. Together they came up with an approximation of freedom, as neither could see a way they could get Benrey out of that labyrinth without problems arising. Benrey would “blend in” with some humanoid form and pretend to be one of the asshole guards that littered the place. That way Benrey would no longer be a test subject and Tommy could still check on them. It wasn’t great, but it would be a temporary solution til they thought of something better. 

Blend in Benrey did, taking his role very seriously. Didn’t know what the guards were talking about half the time, but just mimicked whatever they did and hoped it was good. The guards didn’t like stealing. Or killing. And they really didn’t like when someone didn’t have a passport. Tommy had made them a fake so that he wouldn’t be questioned. He valued that thing with his life, it was like it made him real. He’d flaunt it to every guard he knew, even if they didn’t ask. 

All things considered he had a pretty good life. Lived in Tommy’s lab area when they weren’t on duty. Playing a playstation that Tommy had brought in for him was something to do. Found out about video games and Justin TV (now twitch) streamers. A whole new world opened up to Benrey, so much different than Black Mesa. Even bonded with some of the guards over playstation. Like Josh. Said he worked at Gamestop too. That place sounded cool as hell. Definitely would go there if they could. They did want to see the “outside world” Tommy talked about, full of people who weren’t stuck up scientists. 

Then Gordon Motherfucking Freeman showed up. He looked different than everyone else. He wasn’t wearing a bland lab coat or a security vest, but rather a suit of armor. His curls bounced up and down as he gave Benrey a quick “Howdy”. Kinda hot. Oh, and his whole dick was out. Benrey didn’t fully understand why it was considered taboo for humans to show them off, but Tommy explained it was a common decency thing.

He clearly didn’t know, so Benrey stopped to question the guy before he could embarrass himself. They shoved his dick right back in the thing, no problem. What was a problem was that the guy actually didn’t have a passport, the only thing Benrey thought of to question the guy about. This had never happened before. What did guards do in this situation? He seemed pretty upset from being held up… maybe just follow him? Is that what people do? It’d have to do….

Then the resonance cascade happened. Didn’t hurt Benrey any, but he knew shit had been fucked as he walked through the corpse littered halls. Thankfully Tommy survived, as well as Gordon and some other people who seemed alright. Benrey decided to keep up the whole guard thing though, as their reaction to seeing aliens wasn’t great. Benrey had a high pain tolerance and could just respawn, but still sucked to be shot a bunch. Stayed on Gordon’s ass about the passport and stealing. Truthfully, Benrey didn’t care all that much, but hey, it’s what the other guards did. Plus, pressing Gordon’s buttons was fucking hilarious. Benrey was now regenerating organs in the void, and boy did they hurt when he thought about Gordon.

Especially the whole soldier thing… He was cornered by the soldiers, intimidating fuckers. Talked his way out of it. They talked about playstation for a little bit. That was nice. Maybe the boot boys were cool. Then they started talking about Gordon. Benrey was like “hey I know that guy”. Big mistake. They let Benrey in on their plan to jump him. Oh. Well, Gordon was kinda an ass to them… but maybe not that bad. Benrey suggested they just hurt him. There was no way he was going to get out of this with the soldiers, so compromise it was. 

While kicking a thing around with Bubby in what they called “soccer”, they told him about what the soldiers were planning to do. Instead of being concerned, Bubby was all for it. Said that the whole thing was Gordon’s fault anyways. Maybe this would be an ok thing to do? Maybe Benrey was in the right?

He found that to be false when the attack happened. The grizzly kre-snump in the dark and Gordons wails of agony put a pit in Benrey’s stomachs. Yea, stomachs plural. They’re so fucking cool and awesome. Not in this moment though. They ran off after the soldiers started dragging Gordon away. 

Benrey was super happy to see Gordon again after the soldiers. Thought they’d gotten pretty close after the whole thing. Said he wanted to be a streamer, the coolest thing ever. Guess Gordon was less happy, having staged a full barrage on them on sight. He never grew his arm back. Was kind of a baby about it really. Benrey had lost limbs all the time, arms, legs, lost his head at one point. But Gordon’s arm just didn’t grow back, it stayed a weak lil stump. He kept asking about it, but all he’d get was a rude dismissal. 

The other scientists they’d met (and killed) along the way were all pointing them back to Xen. Back to hell. Benrey would have a lot more power there, be a lot bigger too. They wouldn’t be able to keep up the whole guard thing. It was at this point Benrey started playing the bad guy. Tommy seemed worried, but he wouldn’t hurt Tommy. Never in a million years. 

Then the boss fight. It sucked. He spouted a bunch of nonsense. Wasn’t exactly sure how this was supposed to go. Gordon wanted him to be the bad guy, so he’d get a bad guy. At least give the guy some form of closure. Finally, Coomer pulled out the forbidden science and fucked all of Benrey’s shit up. Didn’t even create a skeleton afterwards. 

That put him where he was now. In the void. Thinking. Generating. The skin on their face was starting to come back now, twisting into a grimace. The bad guy idea wasn’t good. That they knew. But what now? Did they escape? Is Tommy ok? Is Gordon ok? It hurt to think about, but the silence was worse than thinking. He sang a slow tune of sweet voice, a deep burgundy leaving his forming lungs. 

The skeletons flew around him, singing burgundy too. They were sorta like his ghosts. Were him but they weren’t him? It was confusing. Benrey never thought too hard about it. As he was getting close to having his form back, they questioned where they would even spawn, as black mesa was sure as hell gone, as was Xen. If he should respawn at all. He deserved to stay here. To stay dead. The least he could do. But the silence reminded him of how he simply couldn’t do that. Plus, he was bored as hell. 

The minute details of his more humanoid form finished and he was soon himself again. Didn’t feel too great to them… then the white flash appeared. A portal that takes you out of the void. Benrey never tried to resist the pull of the light. Except now. Not wanting to face where he’d end up or being alive at all. They tried pushing themselves deeper into the void, limbs sprawling in the nothingness. It didn’t work. The light kept pulling and pulling until Benrey’s vision was white. Then he woke up.

Their head fucking hurt. So fucking bad like it did when he respawned. Still wearing the black mesa uniform… gross. But it was different. There was a bright sun in the sky. The ground wasn’t a sandy wasteland or Xen, but rather… concrete? Benrey pushed himself up to find he’d somehow landed in a parking lot. He’d heard about these! Confused as to why they’d spawned in a random parking lot, they turned around to see that glorious building. Chuck. E Cheese. 

Then it clicked into place. Tommy had said something about wanting his 37th birthday party there with pizza and minions from Illumination Studios’ Despicable Me. They’d watched that movie together. Benrey didn’t cry, only losers cried. Definitely wasn’t hit by the found family trope. Not at all. He’d respawned at Tommy’s birthday party. It was like a punch in the gut.

Looking through the large windows he saw everyone. Bubby and Coomer fucking it up on the dance floor, Tommy chugging a soda while his creepy dad watched delightedly. And Gordon. Gordon Motherfucking Freeman. He sat at the end of the confetti covered table, a party hat strapped atop his head, trying his best to have a good time. 

Benrey didn’t dare go in. What? Ruin the momentous occasion of escaping Black Mesa and killing them? That wouldn’t go well. So Benrey sat and watched. He couldn’t tear their eyes away from the brightly colored entertainment center. He sang happy birthday with them from outside and watched as Tommy opened up a box of Beyblades from his father.

Then they all started leaving. Benrey quickly darted behind a dumpster and watched as they all departed. Exchanging numbers and talking about getting together sometime in the future. Tommy got in a dark looking limo with his father. Bubby managed to find a caddy sat in the parking lot (of course he fucking did) and jump started it. Coomer got in and they both rode off into the sunset. That left Gordon. He sat on the curb on his phone for a moment. Then looked up. A breeze pushed his matted curls. He was still wearing the blood covered hev suit. Then he began to ball. 

He cried loud. No one around to hear (other than Benrey of course). Snot running down his face. It was not a pretty cry, it wasn’t meant to be. Benrey thinks it’s lame to cry, but he doesn’t blame the man one bit. They want to help. They want to say something. Just give Gordon a fucking hug or something. Upon being wrapped up in his thoughts, he let out more burgundy sweet voice. Gordon’s sobs abruptly broke; he whipped around to face Benrey’s direction. They jumped behind the dumpster, hoping that they wouldn’t be seen. 

“H-hey, who the fuck is there!?” his voice was still warbling from crying.

Benrey didn’t dare move. They curled up into a ball, trying to become as small as possible. The metal footsteps got closer and closer to the trash.

“I got a crowbar and I know how to fucking use it! Don’t test me!”

Finally, Benrey felt Gordon’s looming shadow over his body. It was still. He couldn’t breathe… They just had to ruin everything, didn’t they? More burgundy escaped his throat.

“... I fucking knew it…. I fucking knew it was you…”

Alright Benrey, time to make a great entrance line that is sure to show how sorry you are!

“...haha yea, it’s me bro. Sup.” Nailed it.

“You were fucking stalking us from the window?!”

“Well duh, wasn’t really invited. You walk into parties you aren’t invited to? Huh? You would. Rude ass.” Benrey was great at apologizing. 

“How are you alive… we- we killed you! You should be dead! We destroyed the passports!”

“Mmmm, nope. Just uhhhh... respawned. Easy. Destroyed Xen though, that place is super gone.”

“I can’t believe this… of course you’d still be here! It’s a neverending nightmare for Gordon Freeman! Always!” Gordon gave a shaky laugh. 

He plopped back down onto the curb with a loud metal clunk. Now shaking. Against their will, Benrey hesitantly scooted beside Gordon. He felt the glare of emerald green eyes on him, but neither made an effort to move. Benrey looked around awkwardly, trying to find something to say. Their eyes landed on Gordon’s arm. It was not back, nor was it the minigun. It was a robotic approximation of an arm. Like Coomer’s, but less advanced weaponry. 

“Hey, uh. What- What happened to your arm?”

Gordon made a long exasperated breath, was about to yell. But then, just didn’t. He no longer had it in him.

“Tommy’s dad gave it to me. Works pretty well. Better than a gun for an arm anyways…” 

“Why don’t you just grow your arm back instead of putting a piece of metal on it?”

“Ha Ha Ha,” Gordon sarcastically laughed. “I fucking hate you. Can’t just grow an arm back! Not everyone is some fucking eldritch passport god or whatever the hell you are!”

“You… can’t?” Benrey asked with full sincerity. 

Gordon shot Benrey a very confused look. “What? Of course not! I’m a fucking human, man! We can’t just regrow limbs! When they’re gone ,they’re gone!”

“Oh…. huh…” They took a minute to process this. Tommy occasionally had little gashes and such that would be gone by the next day, so Benrey just assumed humans had regen too. Though, Tommy did say humans were much more fragile than Benrey’s species. Did Benrey even have a species? Whatever the case, Gordon Freeman on hardcore mode. Arm gone forever. He now felt even worse. Didn’t think that was even possible, but here we are. 

“Benrey…” Gordon spoke with stillness. Oh fuck a name drop. This can’t be good.

“Y-Yea, bro?”

“...What’s your problem with me?”

“Huh?” 

“Was everything really about some fucking passport? My arm and Xen and just… everything?”

“Whuh, yea? Sure I guess so?” Benrey didn’t know how to answer. He didn’t really have a problem with Gordon. But whatever let Gordon sleep at night, he’d let him believe. 

“Surely not...It’s like you were out to get me the whole fucking time man! I never even did anything to you! Said my dick was out? But what does that have to do with cutting my goddamn arm off!”

“But the soldiers cut your arm off….”

“You gave me to them! You might as well have!”

“Didn’t know what was going on! They told me they were gonna murk you, told em “hey maybe don’t do that please thank you” then it was like fine we’ll just maim him ‘n I didn’t wanna respawn again so I just said ok.Then I told Bubby cause you weren’t listening to me and he was like “oh yea this is gonna be so cool” so yea BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB.” Benrey spoke so fast. Like Sonic in this bitch. Only words. 

“... I barely understood any of that… but if you're some eldritch god why didn’t you just stop them…”

“Thought it’d be easy. You getting shot all the time and stuff, thought it’d just be a funny prank you’d walk off. Like the glue in the car seat. Yoooo remember that one? That was funny. Not sucks.”

Gordon begrudgingly laughed. “Yes I remember the glue, you dick. Wasn’t funny then though, I thought I was gonna die!”

“You got hev suit.”

“That doesn’t mean I should sit in burning cars! And it’s H-E-V suit, not hev suit, for the thousandth time.”

“Whatever you say.”

The silence was a bit more bearable. Having Gordon not throttle them on sight was a pleasant surprise. Gordon was no longer shaking, or even looking at them. He was just looking at the setting sun. It was quite pretty, now that Benrey was aware of it. Had he even seen one before? Probably. Either way it was nice. They continued to watch the sunset together til Benrey got bored. 

“So you live here?”

“What?”

“You live in uhhhhh… Chuckathy’s?”

Gordon wheezed. “C-Chuckathy’s?”

“Yea bro, Chuckathy Cheddar’s…”

“First of all I have begrudgingly learned that his name is Charles Entertainment Cheese from Dr. Coomer.”

“Nerd.”

“Second of all, I do not live here! Why the hell would I live at a restaurant.”

“Iunno bro, why you sittin’ here?”

“I’m waiting for a cab… doubt they’ll take me because I am covered in the blood of so many people but hey, might as well try!”

“Hm.”

“Why are you here? If you “weren’t invited” to Tommy’s party why are you just huddling behind a dumpster?”

“I just spawned here. I dunno why… Never really been here before.”

“You’ve never been to Chuck E. Cheese?”

“Never been outta Black Mesa…”

“Oh, right…”

They sat awkwardly now, the hues of the sunset giving way to the night. It was cold as hell. Cold isn’t cool. Benreys like uhhh, lizard? Is that what they are? Tommy said that he was like one because he didn’t like the cold. They began to shiver. Gordon broke the silence.

“Do you… live… somewhere. Other than Black Mesa?”

“Uhhhhh, used to live on Xen but that’s hell of gone now too so no? I just spawned in, kinda wingin’ this…”

“That sucks… you’re homeless?”

“Yea? Why’s it a big deal?”

“Cause that’s fucking sad dude! Look… I don’t like you, but I’m not a heartless bastard. I could call Tommy? See if he has room, he seems to be fucking loaded because of his dad. He seemed to be upset when Xen was over for who knows what reason so maybe that’d work?”

“Whuh? I don’t think that’d work. Tommy’s dad doesn’t really… like me…?”

And that was the truth. From as long as Benrey had known Tommy he’d known about “G-man”. He never liked when Tommy and them hung out together. Seemed uncomfortable around Benrey. He trusted Tommy’s judgement, but he expressly didn’t like them. What Benrey was more concerned about was how nice Gordon was being right now? Why the hell wasn’t he being shot?

“Well… there’s Bubby and Coomer? Don’t know where the hell they went. Bubby said something about buying a house together, which was cute. Maybe you could stay there?”

“Maybe?”

After Gordon made a brief phone call to Bubby it was quickly decided that wasn’t an option, as Benrey heard multiple insults over the phone.

“Right. Guess it’s a couples thing… sorry.”

“S’fine. Don’t wanna live with old people anyway.”

“True, I bet they wake up super early for no good reason.”

“Lmao yea.”

“I don’t know what else to do man, not letting you in my fucking apartment… also never say L-M-A-O outloud ever again.”

“Why.”

“Why not say that or why not live with me?”

“Yes.” Benrey had intended to mean why not say lmao, but fuck it. Reach for the stars I guess. 

“Cause I don’t… I don’t want you in my house. I just killed you. P-plus, I have a son… remember? Um, Joshua?”

“Uhuh, you mean that fuckin’ stock photo kid in your locker? M’ not stupid Gordos.”

Gordon began to sputter at that. Yep. Benrey knows what a god damn stock photo looks like. Benrey also knows that Gordon is the type of guy who’d rather pretend he has a son than admit he has a stock photo of a baby he never bothered to take out in his locker. Benrey found it funny, but didn’t call it out; it was pretty pathetic as is. 

“Look, we’re not gonna talk about it. But I still don’t want you living with me…”

“Ok, it’s whatever.”

At that moment, the cab pulled in. It’s bright light illuminating the dark Chuck E Cheese parking lot. Gordon stood up and began to walk towards it. 

“Um, well. Nice to see you aren’t dead I guess. Doesn’t necessarily feel nice to kill someone, even if they’re a jackass like you. “

“Yea… nice to see ya too…” 

Gordon began walking again. Probably the last time Benrey was ever going to see him. Even though they ended on what they’d consider a good note, it didn’t feel any better. If anything it felt worse. All Benrey could do was watch as he walked out of his life. For the better anyways. Burgundy filled the air. 

Gordon was stopped outside the car, just sorta standing there. Pretty sure you’re supposed to get in the car. He turned to look at Benrey, a grimace on his face. He leaned down to the driver and walked back towards them. Oh shit? Gordon too smelly to get in the cab? Loser.

“Come on…” Gordon said with a huff.

“Wuh?”

“God dammit I can’t just leave you out here. If I give you a place to stay you’re not gonna fucking cut off my hand or some shit again or turn into a monster and destroy my apartment?”

“Wait, are you serious?”

“Unfortunately… Now come on before I change my mind. You look like a kicked puppy…”

Benrey beamed at the words. A bright yellow came out of his throat involuntarily as he jumped off the curb. He immediately ran to Gordon’s side, shit eating grin and all. They couldn’t be happier. 

“Gordon and Benrey roommate moments? You got a playstation bro? Bet not, bet you’re a fucking pleb.”

“I am already regretting my decision.”

They walked to the cab together. The driver looked very confused at the duo before he began to drive. This went leagues above how Benrey thought this was going to go. He thought Gordon would have a mental breakdown at the sight of Benrey, but now they’re going to be roommates? They weren’t complaining, but it just showed how fucking weird Gordon was. He’d never been a roommate before, but goddamn if he wasn’t going to be the best one of those this world had ever seen.


	2. Getting Gordon Out of a Metallic Diaper and Benrey’s Epic Grind

Benrey and Gordon sat in what could only be described as the world’s most uncomfortable car ride. The driver clearly wanted to know why the hell Gordon was covered in a bloody suit of armor at an entertainment center. He could only give very vague answers. Also something about the guy's phrasing of what Chuck E Cheese was really ticked him off. But they eventually reached an unfamiliar apartment complex.

When they made it to the apartment, Benrey was met with the infamous “Gordon’s Apartment”. A couch and tv were centered in the living room, followed by a small open kitchen. To the right was a hallway that crept with faint moonlight. There were a few posters scattered on the walls. Linkin Park, Queen, Kane and Lynch. They looked pretty cool, but other than those few things Benrey saw what was perhaps the lamest apartment ever seen. And they loved it. Gordon immediately flopped face first onto the couch, like he couldn’t stand any longer. Then muffled screaming. 

“Uhh, you good bro?”

“Fucking peachy, Benrey.” A muffled voice came from the sofa. 

Gordon sat up and looked at Benrey. They were just standing around in silent awe, only seeing places like this in movies or games. It was so cool. 

“Alright, holy shit I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Me either bro. This place is pretty epic though…”

Gordon sighed. “Let’s lay down some ground rules. Rule one, don’t touch my shit. Rule two, please don’t go in my room unless you absolutely have to.”

“Why? You got a little secret? Huh? Got a lil’ uhhhhh something you don’t want best friend Benny to see?”

“What, no. It’s just an invasion of privacy man, fuck off. Plus we are nowhere near best friends right now…”

“Hmn, fine.”

“Rule three… uh… don’t kill me? Or anyone else for that matter. I know we both killed people but were out of that hellhole now, so we can't just do that.”

“Psh, lame.”

“Rule four… um… Ok I can’t think of any more rules at the moment for some reason so the list is in progress.”

“Sick, can I raid your fridge.”

“I guarantee everything in there is spoiled by now, but knock yourself out. I’m going to take a well deserved shower.” He trudged his way into the hallway.

Benrey didn’t reply to that, having access to the fridge. They had a few fridges and vending machines at Black Mesa, but most of them contained shit foods. Now laid before him was the prime Gordon Freeman food stash. There was a massive jug of what Benrey was told was milk. Never had milk before. Tommy said it was good. Benrey twisted off the cap and proceeded to chug it. Don’t know why it’s put in this hard to drink jug but whatever. Chunkier than he was expecting.

He went through the cheese and weird ass sauces. The second, colder fridge contained waffles. Biting into the frozen waffle, Benrey’s taste buds had never been so delighted. He didn’t need to eat, but if all food was like this frozen waffle they just might reconsider. They couldn’t believe that not only were they free from Black Mesa, but that they were in the house of the legendary dilf himself. And that said dilf has let him? I mean ok, Gordon isn’t technically a dilf but come on man he definitely has that style going for him, dad bod and whatnot. Ok Benrey stop being gay and focus on what’s important, you can’t fuck this up.

Upon their snacking of past due date delights, he heard metal clanking and unmistakable Gordon struggling noises on the other side of the wall. It got louder and louder until he finally had to check. Showers weren’t that hard to take. Benrey took some. Occasionally. Benrey slid up to what he assumed was the bathroom. They about turned the knob before the thought “oh wait shit gotta be a good roommate” popped into his head. He knocked with utmost politeness. Man, they were such a cool roommate.

“Hey man, you good in there?”

“Yea, fine! I just. Can’t get. This fucking. Suit. Off!” Gordon said between grunts. There was more clanking.

“Lil babyman can’t get out of his suit? Lil baby man need help gettin’ out of his lil diapy?” Benrey said this in the most obnoxious voice they could muster, he was so proud of himself.

A loud wheeze came from behind the door. “Yea, you know what, Gordon need help… do you… can you help get this damn thing off… don’t be a dick about it please…”

Oh shit, Benrey help moments? They were joking but yes! He’d absolutely help Gordon! Another step in becoming the best roommate. Gordon Freeman wants Benrey’s help, not clickbait!

“Yea, sure whatever.”

With that the door opens and they are met with the sight of a trashed bathroom and an even more trashed Gordon. Clawing and banging against the suit with everything in his power. Benrey bit back the urge to laugh. 

“Uhh, hey.”

“Hey, listen. Do you see any hatches back there? Anything at all?”

Benrey looked all over the grody suit, but it was just metal plating. “Nope.”

“God, the scientists said that this thing could only be removed by an HEV machine but didn’t they account for shit like this! Who am I kidding of course not, It’s Black Mesa! I’m gonna die in this thing aren’t I? I can’t-

As Gordon monologued to himself Benrey looked at the suit over and over again, trying to find something they missed. Until he thought about the way the metal plating overlapped with one another. Something happened that very rarely occurs. Benrey had an idea. They walked out and grabbed the crowbar he’d thrown by the sofa. Came back with Gordon still rambling on. 

“How am I gonna go out in public? I need to fucking shower-”

“Aight, prying time. Lay down buddy.” Benrey didn’t mean for that last line to come off so threatening, but it’s cool.

Gordon let out a small yelp at the sight of Benrey with the crowbar. Gordon took a moment before he laid down with hesitance.

“Why am I letting you do this…” 

Benrey didn’t answer that, instead he put their boot on his back and found the perfect piece of metal to fuck up. Gordon winced at that, he’s shaking again. Uh oh, that’s not good. They did the only thing they could think of. A short burst of blue sweet voice bursted from their lungs and into a short stream of song, hitting Gordon in the back of the head. 

“Calm down. Just gettin’ suit off. S’ok?” Is that how you comfort people? Probably.

“O-ok, ok just get it over with…” Gordon’s voice wavered.

Benrey hooked the crowbar under the suit and started to pull up on it. It was really on there good, took a lot of strength. Good thing he was unreasonably strong. There was a loud thunk and the plate went flying over Gordon’s head and landed in the shower. Gordon straight up screamed. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!” He was hyperventilating and flailing around.

“Ay I did it. Nice. Cool.”

“Jesus, I definitely have PTSD, holy shit… thought that was a gunshot...”

“Oh… shit uh, you need a minute? A soda?” Tommy always offered Benrey a soda when he was in distress, it usually did help. Maybe it’d help Gordon, just a little bit.

“Nonono it’s fine, I need this thing off. I’ll be fine, just wasn’t prepared for that; I’m fine. Just keep going. It’s fine.”

“Mmm, ok…”

So they kept going. Pulling the metal suit apart, turning it into nothing but scraps. He always tried to warn Gordon when it was about to be loud. After ripping apart the big pieces some of the smaller bits fell off with them. The bathroom was cluttered with orange metal scraps, but it became easier and easier until the last pieces slipped off of Gordon, leaving him in the black spandex suit he wore underneath. Huh. The floor seemed really interesting to Benrey right now, not for any particular reason of course.

“Holy shit, it’s off… I can actually feel shit again…”

“Yea… uh… you uh, you look like shit.” Good job Benrey. 

“Thanks, I’m aware. Gonna take a shower so I look less like shit.”

“Uh, yea, bet you need to. Bet you smell... bad.”

Gordon only sighed at that. “Thank you for helping though man, would’ve been a pain in the ass if not impossible to do it myself.”

“S’cool. Whatever. Bye.”

Benrey is very good at socializing if you couldn’t tell. The master of it really. As they went to sit on the couch, Gordon shouted into the hall.  
“Don’t try anything while I’m in the shower, got it? I’ll kick you out so god damn fast!”

“Mneh mneh mneh I won’t… chill. Pinky promise or whatever.”

Gordon leaned back into the bathroom and shut the door, leaving Benrey on the most comfortable thing he’d ever sat on. Sometimes he’d find a cool crate to perch on, Tommy’s office had a really nice office chair that he loved to spin in, but this? Sofa? Benrey sank into it and felt unparalleled comfort. He could just sit there forever. The texture was soft, and it just smelled nice. Of course couches don’t usually smell nice, but the couch just smelled of life. It smelled of normalcy Benrey didn’t know. It smelled like home. It smelled like Gordon. Warm and comforting. A deep Sunburst yellow formed in his throat, playing a soft melody as it floated into the air. 

Gordon was taking a long ass shower. He probably needed to, but it still. Benrey was bored. He popped his lips, clunked his boots against the couch trying to play a familiar rhythm, started trying to draw a penis with sweet voice in the air. None of this helped. Something caught their eye under Gordon’s TV. A Switch. The signature red and blue controllers popped out in Benrey’s mind. He’d seen people talk about these on twitch. They had what felt like a staring contest between him and the console. He wasn’t supposed to… but… Switch fun… Benrey’s willpower eventually gave as he picked up the console. 

Wow, he knew Gordon was a pleb, but Gordon’s catalog only spanned four fucking games. Mario Kart, Breath of the Wild, Mario Odyssey, and Smash. He probably got half of these with the Switch itself. What a loser. Smash and Mario kart did peak his interest though. Even if he had never even touched a switch in his life, he had watched people play these games enough to know that they had to kick Gordon’s ass in them. He booted up Smash and began to practice. The controls were much smaller and different than Benrey was used to, but they still picked it up quickly. 

They had gotten so into the game that he didn’t even hear when Gordon got out of the shower. Their tongue stuck out in concentration, trying to figure out how to fuck up a poor Pichu cpu with big penguin man’s jet hammer. They kept falling off the map, but they were having the time of their life. Gordon, now in a comfortable set of clothes, looking upon the smaller man curled into his couch totally enraptured in the game.

“Of course you found my Switch already…”

Benrey jumped out of his skin, not even realizing Gordon was there. Welp, it was a nice run while it lasted. He touched Gordon’s shit and now was going to be kicked out for being too much of an epic gamer, that was his fate. 

“....uhh...yeah. Can’t help it, just gonna leave it out like that ‘m gonna play it bro…”

“...I guess that’s fine… just don’t delete any of my files ok? I don’t play it that much anyways but still…”

“Oh shit, Benrey Switch access?”

“Sure, if it keeps you out of the way.”

Benrey's eyes lit up at the words. They flapped their hands and released a yellow sweet voice as they spoke.

“Yoooooo brooo! Actually cool Gordo moments? Not mean man? That’s so swag bro. Gotta, uh, gotta get more games though bro, fuckin’ normie over here with this shit.”

“Look, I got it for Christmas,” Gordon said defensively. “I never really had time to play it because of work and shit. Plus, my games are good!”

“Whatever, just know you’re gonna get fucked up in Smash sometime.” This statement had a cockiness it did not deserve. 

Gordon perked up at the words. “Oh, really? You’re lucky there’s nothing I want to do other than sleep right now or else I might take you up on that…”

“Loser. Too afraid to fight me.”

“Sure, whatever lets me get to bed faster. You need like, a blanket or something? Do you even sleep? Never saw you sleep anytime the rest of us did…”

“Nah, don’t gotta sleep. Sleeping is for babies. Gotta grind now.”

“Well, I do need to sleep, so please don’t fucking… be an ass?”

“Whatever. G’night loser. Hope the bed bugs uhhhhh crawl in your ear or some shit.”

Gordon wheezed. “Fuck you too I guess. Night, Benrey.”

As Gordon walked into the hallway. Something inside Benrey’s guts stirred. They knew they didn’t deserve any of this. They didn’t deserve to play Gordon’s Switch, to sleep on Gordon’s couch, or even be in the presence of the man. Gordon didn’t have to do this. Hell, he probably shouldn’t have. But he did. Words were hard. Sometimes, they just didn’t come out. Something in his brain just wouldn’t let them. Like a wall in his throat that left words unspoken. Now though, Benrey found himself breaking through that wall. It was uncomfortable as hell to do so, but it’s the least Gordon deserved.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Gordon?”

“What?” Gordon’s back was to them.

“......Thanks…… for letting me stay….. here….. ‘S cool of you……..”

Gordon turned around. His eyes bore into Benrey, searching for some trick or joke. They started to fidget, eye contact making them uncomfortable.

“It's… it’s no problem, man. Get some rest, probably good for you even if you don’t have to sleep. Alright?”

“Yeah… ok whatever…”

With that, Gordon walked into his room and shut the door, leaving Benrey alone in the living room, the only light coming from the glorious Switch. He let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding and slumped into the couch. Saying things that weren’t just petty insults were so god damn exhausting. Luckily he had Smash, desire to beat Gordon’s ass in Smash, and a slight weight lifted off his chest. They lifted up the switch and resumed the grind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yellow Sunburst = full of comfort  
> *gives Benrey my communication problems and stims* *gives Benrey my communication problems and stims* *gives Benrey my communica-


	3. Benrey Gets a New Fit and Tommy Care Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop po-*

Benrey was kicking ASS with Dedede. Gordon was screwed. He probably hadn’t played as much as they did in that singular night. The thought of absolutely wrecking Gordon was enough to put a shit eating grin on his face. Gordon being a little piss baby, having to admit Benrey was a Smash god. Oh yea. It’s all coming together. Maybe they should wait to challenge him til they were sure he wouldn’t be choked to death by Gordon at the slightest provocation, but hey, it’d be super funny.

Before he knew it, the sun began to peak through the windows. Their eyes hurt after sitting in the dark for so long, it was ruining the grind… Benrey went to close the shitty blinds but paused. As he looked out the window, the cityscape looked back at him. Dawn creeping over the buildings, birds chirping together on a wire. To anyone who’d ever walked outside, this was a basic bitch view. But to an alien who’d only ever been two fucking places, it felt surreal. 

He sat down in front of the window subconsciously, watching the sun rise. Sunburst flew out of their mouth as they took everything in. Looking at the sun hurt a little bit, but they never stopped staring. Everything was peaceful. It was like there wasn’t extreme awkward tension between him and his crush/roommate. Like he wasn’t an alien, that he just woke up and was enjoying the sunrise like a normal fucking person. Their mind blurred with these thoughts of nonstop comfort until they heard the floor creek behind them. 

Gordon was staring at them from outside his bedroom door. He’d yet to put on his glasses, so he was just squinting at Benrey. His hair cascaded down his shoulders in a messy way that revealed he hadn’t slept too well. He wore a pair of sweatpants and some shitty team building exercise shirt from black mesa. Gordon flinched back when Benrey whipped around, but regained his composure.

“Dude, do you have to do the sweet voice thing so loud?”

“Huh?” Benrey looked up from the window to see that the entire room was full of yellow. It looked like he’d just threw up the sun all over Gordon’s living room. “Oh shit, uhhhh, whoops. Sorry I woke you up from your uh, your little princess nap.”

“God I wish I had a good nap, barely fucking slept… Thought I’d sleep like a rock after sleeping on concrete for a week but guess not!”

He shuffled over to the coffee maker, his stance rigid and exhausted. Benrey thought you were supposed to look better after you sleep, but maybe the opposite was true for Gordon? They stood there in uncomfortable silence. Benrey fidgetted around, trying to get lost in his thoughts again, while Gordon opened his phone. The phone buzzed. Then it buzzed again. Then it was fucking blowing up. They could practically read Gordon’s thoughts of shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit. Frantically typing on the phone, Benrey wondered what was going on, but couldn’t ask. Felt too intrusive for some reason. The line between what Benrey does and does not find intrusive is a fucking mystery, even to Benrey. 

“Uh, hey… Benrey?”

“Sup?”

“I forgot to tell Tommy that you were… alive and shit? Guess Coomer and Bubby told him and he’s freaking the fuck out… He wants to talk to you.”

“Oh hell yea Tommy. My broooo. That’s cool.” This is what Benrey’s mouth said, but his mind and stomach and every other part of his body scrunched up. He REALLY didn’t want to get into the shit they did. Emotions were not good right now. Or ever. Let’s just keep them all inside until they die! The only problem with that plan was that Benrey couldn’t die and Tommy was about to be on the phone. Benrey took some deep breaths before a groggy Gordon handed him the phone. 

“B-Benrey?”

“H-Hey, sup bro?”

“H-Holy shit, you’re okay! I was so worried about you! Why- Wh-What was that? With Xen? I-I-I’ve never seen anything like that! I’d always wanted to see Xen but never like that! Y-You scared me so much I co-”

Tommy was loud in his ear, but the things Tommy was saying were not being registered because Benrey was hyper aware of Gordon’s presence. They hit Gordon with the universal “shoo” gesture. Gordon stood still, not wanting to leave his phone with Benrey, but after contemplating he grabbed his coffee mug and walked into the hallway. Alright, what the fuck was Tommy saying.

“A-A-And what did Sony CEO Jack Trenton have to do with anything?”

“Tommy… I… I dunno what happened… Fucked up big time, a lot. Big fuck up moments…”

“Are you okay? I was worried sick!”

“I’m ok, not perma dead. I- I didn’t wanna, be big bad but Gordon was all like mleh mleh you’re evil bad guy and after a while I just… believed it? It made sense… at the time.”

“Benrey…”

“N’ I didn’t… the soldiers.... human limbs don’t grow back?” The last bit of their voice came out as a whimper.

“O-Oh....No… No, they don't… I’m sorry, about everything... I-I know you said you’re okay but… I wasn’t really speaking physically… are you feeling alright.”

Ew feelings. “ Yea… m’good. Just fuckin’ uhhhhh kickin’ it at Gordo’s…” 

“How did you manage that? You didn’t break into his house did you?”

“Nah, wasn’t planning on being here but I spawned in at the Chuck E. Cheese and he just? Didn’t want me to be homeless or some shit? I dunno, he’s a dumbass…”

“I-I-I’m very glad you’re alright but p-please be careful around Mr. Freeman, I think h-he’s really shaken up after everything a-and I don’t want to see either of you in pain...”

“Yea, M’ gonna like. Have that redemption arc and shit you know? Try and not be suck. Black Mesa is gone, don’t have to hide bein’ alien and shit, don’t gotta worry about my job, just kinda... workin’ on it.”

“Y-Yea! You’re free now that’s right! You can go out and see the whole world!”

“Yea! Yo, have you heard about uhhhhh waffles? Those things FUCK.”

After a while, their banter became more lighthearted and nonsensical like it always did. It was so nice to know that even after all this shit, they were still close as ever. Tommy told Benrey about new additions to his beyblade collection and how he’d gotten in contact with Darnold (who Benrey pretended to remember) and was now working with him in developing new potions. Benrey told Tommy about Smash and how much of a little piss baby Gordon was, despite letting them live with him. This went on for about an hour until they heard G-Man in the background.

“Okay, o-one second dad!” Tommy called out from the background. “Sorry Benrey, Dad and I are going to a-a theme park!! I’ll call you later, o-okay?

“Yo that sounds rad. See ya. N’ thank you...”

“T-Thank you for what?”

“I dunno...caring… I guess…”

“Of course! I-I-I care about you more than- than a bear cares about her cubs!”

“Nnnn, cool bye.” Benrey is great at receiving affection as you can clearly see. 

“Bye Benrey!”

That left Benrey alone, still sitting next to the window with Gordon’s phone. Gordon’s phone… Does Gordon have games on his phone? They open Gordon’s phone to see a bunch of boring apps that Benrey doesn’t even bother reading. This sucks. Boring ass doesn’t even have Subway Surfers. Just then Benrey heard Gordon open the door. 

“Hey, you done? You two talked for fucking ages…”

“Yea, good convo bro. Also you don’t have any games on your phone? Loser.” Gordon snatched the phone back from Benrey.

He was now fully dressed, wearing a faded MIT hoodie and some jeans. As he spoke to Benrey as he was grabbing his wallet and shuffling around his gay ass tennis shoes. 

“Oh no, no phone games, what a tragedy.” Gordon oozed sarcasm. “Also, I’m going to the store to get some new food. Do you like anything particular? Not going out of my way to get you stuff, I just don’t want you eating MY food!” 

“Dude you’re just gonna leave me here all alone? All by myself? Gonna get so boring bro. Be uh, lil lonely Benrey in Gordon Freeman apartment. Sounds suck.”

The fact that Benrey would have to stay at his apartment unsupervised finally hit Gordon. “Ugh, fuck. Guess I gotta take you to a store, huh? I’m not leaving you here. Please tell me you know how to be a normal fucking person in a store.”

“Oh shit, hell yea! Shopping tiiiime!” Benrey sang out in their obnoxious valley girl voice. “Course I know how to be in a store. Been in stores so many times. Casual store goer here.” 

This was a lie. Benrey had never been in a store in his goddamn life. Whether it be a massive corporate entity or a smaller market, they had no idea what went on in one. It was probably like the Best Buy game they played that one time. Probably. Other than that he had no reference to speak of. He happily trotted over by Gordons side, excited for his first store experience. I mean millionth store experience. He’d been so many times.

“Wait wait, you’re still in that uniform? How did I just now notice that?”

“Whuh? Oh, yea. Kinda gross. I don’t care though. S’ fine.”

Gordon looked at Benrey up and down. “You don’t have any other clothes, do you?”

“Nah, only ever needed the one fit. Signature Benrey look.”

“You’ve never worn anything else?!”

“Nah. You don’t like it? I could uhhhhh go there naked?” Benrey said this half sincerely. Maybe clothes were just a Black Mesa thing?

“ABSOLUTLEY THE FUCK NOT!” Ok they were wrong. “Fucking, hold on... “

Gordon walked back into his room. Great, Benrey fucked it all up again. He didn’t like wearing the uniform either but at this point he didn’t really give a shit? It stopped being uncomfortable a long time ago. If anything he felt a little uncomfortable when he WASN'T wearing it. A bit colder. They didn’t see what the problem was til Gordon walked back out.

“Catch.” Gordon tossed Benrey some clothes. Benrey didn’t bother to try and catch it. They just let it hit their face and fall to the ground. Gordon wheezed.

Benrey inspected the things. One was like a black hoodie with all the bells and whistles. A nice hood for rain coverage or hiding embarrassment, a front pocket with infinite storage, two strings for gnawing and twisting. And it was soft. So so fucking soft. He’d only seen these things in games, but here he was holding one. Then the sweatpants. They were gray and had a noticeable coffee stain on one leg. This did not matter. Benrey loved them.

“It’s some old clothes of mine, can’t really wear them anymore because… well I guess I was a little slimmer in college. So I guess you can have them. Better than trying to convince myself that I’ll be able to fit again…”

“Cool. I’m gonna uhhhh go wear your clothes now.”

“Don’t say it like that you ass! Just… fucking put them on…”

Benrey went into the bathroom to try on his new shit. The scraps of metal from last night were still scattered around the bathroom, not moved in the slightest. Free from their uniform, they put on the hoodie. Holy. Fucking. Shit. Is this clothes? Is this soft? Hoodie? What? It was fucking magical. He wrapped his arms around himself and embraced the beautiful thing. It was nowhere near constricting like the security vest and tie combo. This was luxury. It was like he was wearing the sofa. And it smelled like Gordon too… They were never taking it off. 

Then the sweatpants? Just as beautiful. He never knew how constricting the pants they had to wear were until now. Pockets. Fuck yes. Look at his legs! Ambulatory! Their hands flapped up and down as he moved around in living comfort. Sunburst flew from his mouth. 

He went to take their helmet off, but as the voidish hair poofed around their head, he felt incredibly exposed. Maybe the helmet should stay on… just for now anyways. Other than that, he’d never felt more comfortable in their own skin. He burst out of the bathroom voguing. No longer stiff movements. Just fucking perfection. Gordon giggled as Benrey strutted out of the bathroom.

“You showing off?” 

“Yea dude, this shit is dope. Ten outta ten. M’ never not wearing this.”

“I mean, it’s gotta be washed and stuff, but sure. Glad you like it I guess.”

“Wash clothes?” You don’t wash clothes, you wash the body bit! Benrey learned this when he first tried taking a shower with the other guards. In his uniform. 

“I- you’ve never washed your clothes… Ok if I think about that any longer I’m going to have a fucking stroke. You ready to do this shit? Don’t really have a list but, let’s try NOT spending all of my money on one trips worth of groceries. Especially since I’m unemployed now… oh my god I’m unemployed.” Gordon sank into his thoughts.

“S’ cool man. Big PHD brain man will find some loser job. Probably gonna… stack pencils? You gonna stack pencils, pencil boy?”

“What the fuck are you even talking about?”

Very bold of Gordon to assume that they knew what they were talking about either.

“Come onnnn, you’re gonna make us late for store,” Benrey said, rushing out the door.

“Pretty sure Walmart doesn’t close, asshole!” Gordon shouted out as he ran after Benrey down the stairs.

Benrey fucking zoomed down the stairs. So fast. They’d stop and listen to Gordon bound downwards as he chased them down the stairs every once in a while. Gordon wasn’t slow by any means, his shows of athleticism in Black Mesa were enough to prove that. Benreys an eldritch god though. He can go as fast or slow as he pleases. They hear Gordon call out.

“GOD DAMMIT BENREY WE HAVE AN ELEVATOR! I LIVE ON THE 9TH FLOOR FOR FUCKS SAKE!”

They were close to reaching the door in the lobby. Not even sure why they’d go out without Gordon, it’s not like they knew where they were going. Still, they wanted to win… whatever this was. As soon as he was in reach of the door, they felt a tug on their hoodie. He whipped around to see a very out of breath Gordon, practically heaving in their face. Ah. Yep. That’s cool.

“God dammit man, we gotta wait for the uber! Don’t exactly have a car. It’s probably sploded. Can’t just run off like that...”

“Whuh?” His words hardly registered right now. The only thoughts in Benrey’s head being replaced with “Gordon Pretty”. Like the gay ass they are.

“Come on, I gotta check my mail anyways. It’s probably super backed up by now…”

Gordon grabbed Benrey’s arm and pulled him like a limp doll over to the mail slots. Was it always this bad? He was always getting up in Gordon’s personal space. Sure, he did it solely for the attention, but now it was…. Hnnng Gordon… If that makes sense. Nonetheless Benrey swallowed down the pink sweet voice building up in his throat. Apparently this move was audible.

“What, dude don’t throw up on me!” Gordon tossed away Benrey’s arm. Aw man…

“Psh, why shouldn’t I?”

“Cause that’s fucking gross!” Gordon starts shifting through the weeks worth of mail. “Seriously man! Common decency! How would you feel if I did that to you? Huh? Actually wait don’t answer that I don’t even-”

Gordon stopped dead in his tracks as he opened an imposing looking letter. Looking closer at the envelope, Benrey saw that it read Mr. Coolatta. Uh oh. That can’t be good. Gordon read silently while they just watched. The air was thick. And then Gordon laughed a little bit. Oh FUCK no this CANNOT be good.

“Holy fucking shit. Hoooooly shit! Benrey!” 

“W-What’s up? You got fan mail or something?”

“No! Tommy’s dad, Mr. Coolatta, he just sent us each like half a million dollars dude! Holy fucking shit!”

“Wait, WHAT!” This was not what Benrey was expecting in the slightest. 

“Yea! I guess it’s hush money for the Black Mesa shit, which is kind of a bummer because I wanted to yell to the world that aliens were real, but I’m MORE than happy with this outcome! And Tommy told him you were living with me so he sent you money too!”

“He sent ME money? I have MONEY?”

“And here I was worried about rent! We’re rich dude!”

“We can buy allllll the Switch games!”

“That’s really what your mind first goes to…”

“Yep.” Benrey pops the p like a fucking asshole. 

“Well we do have to be careful with it, you know how all the lottery winners go bankrupt cause they spend too much of it… but fuck it! We’re rich people now! Fuck not spending a lot at the grocery! We could buy everything in the store if we wanted!”

Benrey had never even HAD money before, let alone half a million dollars. Along with that Gordon’s continued use of “we” made them incredibly happy. They COULD buy all the switch games! They could buy all the different sodas and doritos that weren’t offered at Black Mesa! They could buy frozen waffles! They could buy hoodies and sweatpants and anything they could think of! Could they get a statue of themselves? Put it smack dab in the middle of Gordon’s living room. That’d be so fucking funny.

Gordon seemed equally lost in the fantasy of buying shit when he perked up at the sight of the uber pulling up.

“Shit, that’s our ride! We won’t need to uber anywhere soon but lets fucking go!”

Benrey successfully rushed out the door this time and burst into the poor uber’s car. The driver yelped, taken aback by the strange man’s urgency. Gordon was close behind. Benrey shouted out to him in his best valley girl accent.

“Get in loser, we’re going SHOPINGGGGGG!”

Gordon wheezed and got in after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no new sweet voice, we all know what pink means.  
> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh hh fuck they gay? and rich now. that's cool. they're going to Walmart? uh oh.


	4. Raid of the Chip Aisle and Taking Deep Breaths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey, this chapter includes a panic attack, so if you are sensitive to these sorts of depictions please beware.

This place was fucking FILLED with people. More people than Benrey had ever seen at once. Sure, Black Mesa was a massive facility, but to see more than twenty people in a room was a rare occurrence. Now though, there were so many people, so many things, so much… And all the people looked so different. There was no dress code. No rules. Just shop. There were also children, which Benrey had never seen in real life, so that was a mind fuck. 

“Dude, stop staring at the fucking kid. You’re probably gonna anger some asshole mom…”

“Whuh?”

“Whatever, just… if you see something, get it. Skys the limit!”

Benrey turns his eyes up to a far away sign that reads “Video Games”. Gordon grabbed a strange looking pulley thing. That must be for getting around. Welp, better call dibs on it now. In one swift movement they jumped into the shopping cart. Now cross legged and sitting, Benrey was very excited to begin. He pointed his finger towards the sign.

“Move.”

“Benrey… I am not fucking pushing you in the shopping cart.”

“Well then,” they smacked their lips a couple times, “You shoulda uhh been faster then. Get pushin’”

“No! You’re going to walk like a normal fucking person! I’m not doing this!”

“Mleh mleh mleh, Gordon too much of a sore loser to push me. Huh? Gonna cry?” Benrey slouched down further into the cart.

After a while of arguing, Gordon’s yelling started attracting attention. That’s how Gordon found himself pushing Benrey around in a shopping cart rather than causing a scene. They went through various hallways lined with shelves of food. Like hallways made of cabinets. It was fucking weird. Gordon would throw something in, and Benrey shuffled around it. He was adamant about Benrey not crushing anything. Then they got to the chip aisle.

“YOOOO HOLY SHIT.”

There were so many goddamn chips. When Tommy said there were all sorts of snacks outside of Black Mesa, they weren’t expecting HUNDREDS! Brands he recognized and didn’t, flavors he could remember and were just unexplainable to their mind. A whole aisle of colors and designs of a new world.

“Dude don’t shout!” Gordon shouted. Dumbass.

“There's… so many?”

“Chips? Yea? Which ones do you like?”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what?” Benrey’s mind was overloading with new information.

“I’m getting Cheetos, you get whatever you want.” 

As Gordon turned around to grab his snacks, Benrey jumped out of the cart and proceeded to grab one of each bag he could see. He didn’t understand what half of the bags even said, but he knew that this was something he couldn’t pass up. They dunked them all into the cart in one swift motion. Gordon turned around to see the cart filled with all of the chips. 

“What the fuck-”

Benrey came from behind him grabbing even fucking more. They had to have them all. They had to have the full chip experience. There was so much he didn’t know. Tommy would occasionally bring him food from outside, unique sodas and occasionally whatever McDonalds was, but other than that they’d never expressed an interest to try foods. Now though, this really showed just how much Benrey had to see.

“Holy shit, why! We can barely fit anything in there now!” Gordon said, holding his one bag. 

“What happened to skys the limit? Imma try ALL the chips! Rank em’. Don’t trust YOU to tell me what’s good.”

“Last night you drank my VERY expired milk…”

“Mmmm what? Sorry I can’t hear you. Gonna have to speak up. Have uhhh too many chips.” 

“God fucking dammit…”

Gordon pinched his forehead, but did nothing more to stop Benrey’s chip escapade; after all, this was Benrey’s money too. If they wanted to spend it on every bag of chips, they could. G-Man had put Benrey and Gordon’s money together for some god damn reason, so they had to share. Much to Gordon’s dismay. Benrey could unfortunately no longer get in the cart due to how full it was, so had to walk around like a fucking loser. 

Then they made it. The mother of all aisles. No food in sight, just technology and video games. Benrey looked at Gordon with the widest of grins. Gordon let out an elongated sigh before nodding. This was all the confirmation they needed to start barreling towards the section. It was great! All the titles sitting there, ready to be bought! Well, there was a glass thing in front of it. Not that it meant anything to Benrey, his arm simply phasing through the glass.

Oh shit, Tommy just told Benrey about Animal Crossing; said they could be island friends or something. Yoink. Pokemon? Hell yea, he’d always wanted to play a Pokemon game. Yoink. Minecraft, a fucking classic. Yoink. Doom? Yoink. Splatoon 2? Yoink. Skyrim, Kirby, Super Mario Maker 2, Diablo, Hollow Night, Luigi’s Mans-

“Sir, put those down…” A jaded teenager came to the aisle Benrey was ferociously grabbing the games in. At about the same time Gordon caught up to Benrey as well.

“Oh my god I am so sorry, he’s an idiot I’m sorry,” Gordon sputtered as he started to drag Benrey away. 

“Noooo my games…” he scrambled to pick up as many as they could. 

“Dude you gotta ASK for those, they’re behind the glass for a reason!”

“That’s dumb.” 

“Yea it is but it doesn’t mean you can just fucking… do that… how did you even do that?”

“Skillz.”

“Ok, yea sure. Are you happy now?”

Benrey looked down at the pile of games cradled in their arms. “Yea.” 

Gordon dragged them away from that aisle, hoping to never look anyone near there in the face again. They continued onwards til nothing else would fit in the cart. Benrey was happily sifting through their games towards the self check out line with Gordon (they weren’t going to curse some poor cashier with all of this shit). They were almost there til Benrey noticed a lack of complaining happening. 

He looked up at Gordon, clearly inside his own mind. His movements were unsure and wobbly, gripping onto the cart for dear life. He looked sweaty. Like, much more sweaty than Gordon usually was. Breathing heavily. His eyes darted around the massive room, probably the most crowded and loud area they’d been in. He looked like he was about to cry. 

“Hey bro, you alright?” 

Gordon took a minute before shaking his head no. They were stopped in the middle of it all now. 

“What’s wrong? You sick?”

“..........Loud….” Gordon’s voice barely came out as a whimper. He was shaking now. 

“Oh shit… Uh, h-hold on…”

Benrey had their fair share of panic attacks. The loud scraping metals and shrieking aliens caused some shit times. But Benrey had never been on the helping side of them. Always the...receiving end. Alright… What would Tommy do? What would Tommy do?

They grabbed Gordon’s hand and the cart and started speed walking as fast as Gordon let him. He remembered that there was a quiet aisle towards the back of the store, filled with Hall of Ween shit or whatever. Gordon was now the limp doll in the situation, idling being pulled by Benrey. Finally they reached the very back of the store, the only noise was the faint pop music being played from afar. He still seemed pretty out of it. 

“Uhhhh hey, it’s cool bro? Less loud over here? S’ ok. Just uhhhhh take some deep breath. Alright?” Benrey did some as well.

Gordon followed along with his breathing, steadily falling back down. His eyes seemed less glazed over. Was this helping? Gordon started moving around again.

“...Fuckin… Hot…” Gordon took off his hoodie, now leaving him deep breathing in a weird ass shirt that read “I wear this shirt periodically” with some weird ass chart on it. Benrey didn’t understand it but it was probably some lame nerd shit. He sat down on the concrete floor in the empty aisle, grabbing Benrey’s hand and tugging him down as well; subconsciously squeezing their hand to calm himself. Benrey followed this with some blue sweet voice. 

Everything seemed calmer now, Gordon looked less like he was about to straight up die. Seemed more composed. Everything was cool. Big cool. Especially Gordon’s hand grabbing their own. That was very cool. Very fine and good and epic. 

“Fuck, holy shit. I don’t know what happened there man. I’m sorry…”

“S’ cool. You ok?” 

“I just… everything just got really loud and hot… I felt like I was gonna pass out… That SUCKED.”

“Yea, not cool when that happens. Big suck.”

“Thanks for getting me over here, very… very helpful. Don’t know why you’re not being a dick about this…” Gordon gripped his hand tighter. Gordon was very hands on when it came to showing affection. Something this touch starved alien was not fucking used to.

“Yea uh, whatever. You die I can’t buy games, bro. Then what? Huh? Just gonna die of boredom in your apartment? That what you want? Trying to uhhhhhh sabotage me? And my grind?”

Gordon laughed. It’s a nice laugh. Not a begrudging giggle or a sudden wheeze, but a genuine laugh. “You think I’d die in the middle of the Walmart in order to stop you from playing video games? How does that even make sense!” He kept laughing. It even made Benrey giggle a little. It was getting real hard to keep the pink in his throat. 

“Yea, clearly. Makes perfect sense. Loserman can’t accept that he sucks. Gordon Freeman dies in store. Not clickbait.” They go on like this for a while til some old dude comes into the aisle and sees two grown men laughing together on the floor. Gordon gets up and walks back to the cart, leaving Benrey and their hand on the ground. 

“Alright, I think I’m good now. I feel… I feel a lot better now.”

“Bout time. Let’s fuckin get it.”

They made it back to the self check out aisle without a hitch, Benrey keeping an extra close eye on Gordon this time. The self check out line took fucking forever. Much longer than need be. Benrey didn’t know how to scan anything, so he’d either stick to watching or fuck up trying. The amount of chips they scanned was atrocious. A poor service woman had to scan each of Benrey’s games individually. And to top it all off, Gordon fucked up putting money in the machine so bad that it got jammed, leading to them standing there for an extra ten minutes while the machine was being fixed by the staff. A horrible time for an incredibly embarrassed Gordon; a wonderful time for Benrey and his newfound goldmine of insults directed at this fuck up. 

“Wow, can’t believe you, you fucked it up that bad. You do one thing and you break the whole machine.” It was now dark outside, they both sat down on a curb and waited for their ride

“I don’t know how I even managed to do that… Am I an idiot?”

“Yea. Glad to see you’re finally admitting the truth.”

“No, it was probably just the shitty machine! You know how those things are, they never fucking work!”

“Uhuh suuuuuuure, blame the thing. You suck. Can’t even do that right. So fuckin’ funny dude.”

Benrey laughed his signature laugh and let green and honey fly out of his throat. Gordon watched the bubbles fly into the air and reached out to pop one. Before they could say anything, the sweet voice was popped and Gordon was hit by its effects. He started to wheeze and laugh as hard as they were. It then became a feedback loop: Gordon’s laugh would make Benrey laugh up more sweet voice that would hit him and make him laugh even more. 

“Holy shit dude I can’t breathe; I really am a fucking idiot oh my god!” Gordon laughed through.

“Yea bro! Sooooooo fuckin dumb! Like uh uh a chicken head, lil chicken hat!”

“You’re an idiot too, couldn’t even -” Gordon stopped to wheeze. “You couldn’t even scan a barcode! We’re both fucking idiots!” 

They both kept laughing til it physically hurt, Gordon saying he was about to pee himself only started the loop back up as Benrey released a full force cackle at a piss joke. When it finally died down, they were left in oddly comfortable silence. TOO comfortable. Benrey was starting to get very suspicious of how well things were going for him. Why were Gordon and them allowed to laugh like idiots together? Was Gordon faking it? Surely there was an ulterior motive or something bad over the horizon. Benrey glanced down at his metal arm. It was really sinking in how much he’d fucked up. Then they heard Gordon’s voice.

“What does reddish sweet voice mean?”

Benrey took a moment to process this. He looked up to the sky to see a shit ton of burgundy. Whoops. They know they can subconsciously spew sweet voice, a terrible habit he had trying to hide as a guard, but burgundy? Feelings? Right now? With cool dilf man? Embarrassing as hell. Then that embarrassment turned into horror as Gordon started to extend his hand towards the orbs. They grabbed his wrist so god damn fast, making sure that he didn’t get anywhere NEAR Benrey’s feelings. He froze up, as did they; neither one of them expecting the other’s action. Then they sat there, watching the sweet voice dissipate among the tension. 

“Uhhhhh, no. Don’t, uh. Don’t do… that.”

Gordon snapped himself out of it. “Sheesh you can just say that! Is it dangerous or something? I know Tommy said something about a song of death?”

“Yep. It’s super deadly toxic. That one. Touch it, death. That’s how it works. Don’t touch uhhhhh burgundy.” What Gordon doesn’t know can’t hurt him, right?

“Ok, ok I got it. Burgundy bad. I’ll keep note of that…”

Once the uber finally showed up and got their haul of food together they made it back to the apartment to unpack. Benrey watched as he meticulously put everything in its place. Organizing food? What a loser. Though they couldn’t deny that it was a bit satisfying watching Gordon do this strange ritual. Analyzing and thinking about how everything should be placed. No doubt Benrey would mess it up soon, whether it be accidentally or purposefully just to fuck with the poor man. He soon had everything put into its place. Well, except the chips. 

“I don’t even know where to put all this… You get to figure it out…”

Benrey grabbed as many chip bags as he could and dumped them all into a particularly empty corner. He turned back to Gordon, who looked disappointed but not surprised in the slightest. 

“There ya go. It’s uhhh chip mountain. Pretty cool.”

“Those aren’t just going to sit there forever, right? You are going to eat them?”

“Yea bro, gotta taste test. Gotta find the best ones. You gonna help me? Probably not, your palettes shit.”

“Sure, fuck it. I’ll help. And you have no right to talk about food after you told me the best thing you’ve ever eaten was a frozen waffle.” 

“BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB” Benrey blew a raspberry in Gordon’s direction. He gave a shitty pathetic attempt at one back. 

They pointless argued with one another for a solid hour. Nothing with malicious intent, no anger truly present, just bickering back and forth with one another about food. It was nice, in its own weird way. Once he realized it was about midnight, Gordon started preparing to go to bed. Benrey got out the switch and began to boot up Pokemon. As Gordon walked out of the bathroom and started into his room, he stopped.

“Um, night Benrey.”

“Oh, yeah, night bro. Do your lame ass sleep thing or whatever.”

And that was that. Benrey sank deep into the world of Pokemon, getting about halfway through the game in that sitting alone. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gordon woke up sweating and tears streaming down his face. Great, another damn nightmare… It’d only been a day and Gordon was already to take Tommy’s recommendation about seeing a therapist or something. He really didn’t want to go out to the living room, the star of his nightmare was in there playing Pokemon. He couldn’t go back to sleep either. He gave up and checked his phone, seeing two messages.

Hey Gordon! I just wanted to check in! Hope Benrey and you are doing well :)  
-Tommy

Fuck you Gondorn  
-Bubby

Yep, that sounded about right. He really wanted to call Tommy, but it was four in the morning, so that probably wasn’t a good idea. He wasn’t even going to look into Bubby’s antics. Gordon stared up at the ceiling, hearing Benrey’s faint clicks and clacks coming from the other room. He wondered why Benrey was even here in his living room, why he wasn’t turning into an alien god, why he wasn’t actively trying to be an overall douchebag. He’d overheard some snippets from their phone call (you try not being nosy when your mortal enemy has your phone!). Was Benrey actually trying? Or was this just another cruel trick? Gordon's eyes landed on the prosthetic beside his bed. None of these thoughts were helping him go back to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Green and Honey - so fucking funny  
> Fuck you Gondorn

**Author's Note:**

> Joshua is not real because I think Gordon not admitting he has a stock photo in his locker is fucking hilarious/ I don’t know how to write kids that aren’t evil…  
> Sweet Voice Translations - Burgundy = guilty. Yellow = happy.


End file.
